I am a former “conflict-a-phobe.”

August 4, 2008 at 7:10 pm | Posted in Conflict | 3 Comments
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I admit it, I used to be scared to death to have a difference of opinion with anyone. When I sensed pending conflict in a conversation or situation, I used to clam up or lie (I was a gifted chameleon), anything to avoid engaging in an unpredictable disagreement that might mushroom into a full-scale argument.

Can you relate?

Or maybe you identify more with “powering up” in conflict, overwhelming someone else with your superior debating skills or your louder, more forceful voice.

Instead of regarding conflict as something to be feared or overcome, consider shifting your perception. What might happen if you chose to regard conflict as a straightforward opportunity for creative growth? After all, does any real change occur in life — whether it happens within yourself or in relationship with others — without a degree of discomfort or struggle?

Let’s talk about this, what are your thoughts? And, if you like, let me know your typical response to conflict.

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  1. What a gigantic rut we’d all be in, without being able to willingly engage in speaking our truth and risking a level of conflict!

  2. oh, Ellen, you hit the nail on the head! Confessions of a (mostly) former chameleon; and my husband holds titles as a practiced, well-taught “power-up” champion. We’ve learned to temper those tendencies in the past 11 years of marriage, and our arguments look a lot different these days. Thankfully, a lot more adult. We’ve come a long way, baby!

  3. That’s a marital milestone to celebrate, Laura — being able to work through conflict in a more mature and honest way. YEAAAA!

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